Trauma

As someone who specializes in trauma counselling, I have to admit that I bristle every time that I hear that word dropped casually in conversation: “That six hour flight delay was traumatizing!” “The way that movie ended was traumatic!” “He stopped returning my texts just out of the blue. It was traumatizing.” We are using […]

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What exactly is counselling?

  Many people ask me and others probably wonder: what exactly is counselling?   Counselling is not about healing others. I don’t heal anyone. I walk alongside the men* I work with as they heal themselves.   When I work with a man, I start by being in his corner so that he can learn […]

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Saying yes to the whole beautiful mess

This idea of acceptance has me wrapt. It is no small thing to accept the life I have: my past with all its pains, heartaches and mistakes; my present with all the worries and fears, risks and uncertainties of a career and home and family; my rapidly growing city with its few secure jobs, its […]

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The Challenge of Acceptance

I have been thinking a lot about acceptance, about how difficult it is to do and about how the word simply does not reflect how challenging it is. One of my beloved teachers reminds me that we tend to think of acceptance as a passive process when in fact acceptance is a very active process, […]

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Loving the Ordinary

In her 2010 TEDx talk Brene Brown says: “In this world, somehow, an ordinary life has become synonymous with a meaningless life and so often we are missing what is truly important because we are on the quest for the extraordinary.” How true! But what is it about the idea of having an ordinary life […]

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Self-Esteem Separates

Here’s another take on scarcity consciousness from a different perspective from psychologist Kristen Neff’s work on self-compassion. In this TED talk, Neff talks about the emphasis on self-esteem in psychology. Recently researchers have started revealing some significant limits to self-esteem for mental, emotional, spiritual and relational wellness. Neff says: “If you have low self-esteem… you’re […]

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Scarcity Consciousness

One of the people who has been a tremendous influence in my life and the lives of so many is the vulnerability and shame researcher, Brene Brown. I had the joy of meeting her and recording her keynote address at a leadership conference with the Fraser Health Authority in 2011 and she is every bit […]

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